Saturday, 19 September 2013 - Well Luxury Baragainers (LB's) this post patiently had been waiting around all day yesterday to go final
because there was a lot more to do than it seemed when Max arose. First those misdialed calls started coming in from the 210 and 713 area codes, the dreaded San Antonio - Houston bill harassment corridor. And we know what that means: AutoMaxMode. All mistakes. Do not pick up. Review www.nolo.com bill collection harassment tips. Read the Fair Credit Reporting Act. Read the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. I read that in a junk e-mail. Only get legal advice from a licensed active professional, which I am not. I am a blogger.
But we will end that right there. Let us take the rest of today's post and make
something positive out of it. Like dinner. Meet the one and the only, TA DA!, Miss Money. Have you ever bought someone's
writing out on the street just because you want to support street
culture? My friend Miss Money does. She always comes out ahead herself, too. As I believe it says in the Bible -- to paraphrase -- give all you can to others and riches beyond measure shall come to you. Miss Money did not tell me that, someone who came to my door dressed as the meter reader did, even though we no longer have one. We are going meterless.
Back to Miss Money. Once we went into a
restaurant on an expired (1993) 2 for 1 Entertainment Book (trademark) coupon. I did not get paid to write that or anything else by the way by those I mention in a post. Readers might think about that who are starting a blog along with this one. It is about trust. Anyway in my case people try to pay me NOT to recommend
things. But I only do if I really and truly notice them and think that they are good things.
Like the "Simple Savings" card. I told people about that drug discount card I got for free. It sometimes saved me a lot and other people I lent it to in line at the pharmacy, too. It cost me nothing. I decided to mention it in a post when I let an elderly couple that spent $700 A MONTH ON HIS PRESCRIPTIONS! use the card in front of me at that everywhere drugstore we all know that is very "convenient".
The one that had the so-called "President" Bush's daughter arrested at the Drive-Thru in Florida. Anyway the elderly couple were afraid of me because I guess these days everyone figures someone has got a racket, but she was paying and told him "try it". Of course she was the boss, no offense, just saying, after probably forty years of. . . . Never mind. Anyway he saved $400 right there. She started to cry right in front of me. I felt good. I helped improve their quality of life. I do not know if they still have that card, if it is free, nor anything else about it. But anyway I know for a long time people went to that post to find out about it, and they even put an easy cut-out Google advertisement for it next to the blog. I have never communicated with them in my life.
Anyway usually I miss everything like that because I am in oblivion Mom would say as in when I got on the plane
by accident and went to Europe. But back to dinner this time I caught what Miss Money did. I saw
her hand this guy five bucks who I knew because he was a drunk who
screamed at me every time I got off the bus from work when I used to be a
part of the "rat race" and not an LB'er. I asked her why she did that.
Per usual she said "what?"
"But Miss Money nobody ever takes you for a. . . ."
"Shut up, Maxwell."
"My name is Max. Max Money. Maxwell's was the coffee plant reminds me of my Mom. . . ."
"Shut up, Maxwell. Go in the restaurant right now, or I am not taking you to eat."
"But that is my coupon. It is the only one left from the 1993 book
except the 'Windows On The World' that they will not even let us trade
in."
"Shut up, Maxwell. I do not want to hear about that coupon again. That is in very poor taste. You should know better. Now go in there. You are cramping my style".
"Hmph." I might as well me married to her. But I followed orders and went inside because I love Canadian food. Like Mol. . . . I mean my special sports drinks. Sometimes it is so hard to talk to a
woman. A minute after I sat down she sat at the booth with her hair all
messed up like I guess a pretend street poet. She started doing something on the bench on her side of the booth. I knew what she was doing. She was counting money.
Miss Money is always counting money. That is what I heard men in Scotland do or used to do before they go to bed. They count all the money in their wallets. I do not know as I have not been there to Scotland on top of England, nor have I gone to bed in the same room with a. . . . . Oh, never mind.
I no longer need to do that wallet counting as I used to get nervous if it was not $200 more or less. I guess that was in the old days when we were always worried about a nuclear war with the Soviet Union, and they did not have cash machines so you wanted to be prepared in case an ICBM landed down the street with no warning. Thank goodness that Cold War is over and there is nothing to worry about now. I used to think some people where going to make a whole career out of keeping you worried so you did not notice that everything was no fun anymore.
Back to my new wallet in the good old days of which I usually also had several in my drawer as everyone gave me them for present because as they used to joke I have no personality. Anyway now it is $1 more or less in my wallet held together by duct tape. The good kind. Name brand. Hey but do not think we cannot find some real luxury bargains out there to raise back up our standard of living or just make it higher than ever before or whatever. If I were not so busy writing I would probably do a search on something like "Good quality bargains" with the quote marks so it is all searched together. They call that a Boolean search which I sure do not know how I remembered that one. Oh, Miss Money is back.
"What happened to you?"
"Nothing, Max, I sold my poem for $10. Now shut up I have to make a
phone call." She was calling the police non-emergency number again so I knew
she must have gotten a moving violation. "I really would
appreciate that as even rushing there my mother died at the hospital a
few minutes later. . . . We could really use the money for the medical
bills and the service . . . . Oh, if the officer wants to do anything
tell him we could not take that, please just tell him to mail in the
order form I gave him for the Girl Scout Cookies. They are asking for
cash, their bank burned down . . . . Oh, yes please tell him she was in the trunk. I do not have time to explain right now. I will call back." She turned off her phone.
As I said or should
have I hope you get to meet her. I am looking around for her in the blogs.
She is a piece of work. She is like a blog "drifter" only you change the "d"
to a "g". Anyway I stopped revising the last post here because when I was here the stats
said I had almost one hundred views the day before. And my ad was for places that looked like they really sold luxury bargains. Then when I
checked after the next day ended the stats said down we were down to three views. So what
does that teach us? Remember do as I say not as I always do. We must keep blogging on every day. Got it Max? Because then I stopped right there and posted the last post yesterday which now has thirty views. Everybody confused. Blog on.
That is one thing I really like about Miss Money you can catch her red-handed
but somehow YOU are the one who always gets in trouble. She is so slick. Alright that is it I am putting up another sticky note, or no I am
going to change the one already on my computer screen which reads "Do
Not Gamble" to "Do Not Gamble/Ramble, Maxwell". Ugh! that "Maxwell"
still makes me flinch. My Mom was very loving and really totally
peaceful. Nevertheless she was not afraid to maintain order so she did beat the the you-know-what out of me
every time one of my three sisters lied to her and said I had done
some horrible thing to them.
And I never knew it was
coming since usually I had not done anything at all. I was not on guard
for Mom (unless she was coming at me with a hairbrush for a spanking).
I was maybe reaching up for my 50 lb. bag of dry rodent food to feed my pet gerbils. Then her hand SMACK! right across my face as she passed me. No warning.
And my sisters whistling that horrible Beatles' song, "Bang, bang,
. . . ."
My name is not even really Maxwell which is what
it read on the coffee plant next door. They haunted my nightmares
whispering "Good to the last SMACK!" My name is Max Money it is time to
get back on track here. This post is after all a further MaxAnalysis of our
advertising approach. So the big question for the moment is do we go in the "Post" white block on "Layout" and make it 2 or 3 a day. We shall what looks better, LB's, we shall see.
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